Welcome to unicorncat.shop, the glitter-drenched fever dream of two exhausted millennial parents clinging to the early 2000s like it’s the last floaty at a drowning party.

We’re just your average married duo — one of us makes art, the other makes noise (music, technically), both of us make questionable life decisions — like starting a merch store while raising a baby and being owned by two cats with zero respect for personal space.

Our designs are a chaotic love letter to an era when Hot Topic was a lifestyle, the internet still had charm, and nobody judged you for feeling deep things while blasting My Chemical Romance at 2AM. So if you’re into nostalgia, sarcasm, existential dread wrapped in pastel clouds, or simply enjoy the visual of a cat destroying Tokyo while a giant penguin crowd-surfs to emo anthems — congratulations, you’re home.

This isn’t just fashion. It’s therapy… with a tracking number.